Thursday, December 20, 2012

If you're looking for comfort , this Hotel isn't for you! Behold, the first officially 0 star rated Hotel for the budget minded



Null Stern

Some 5 star Hotels in many cases cause shock and awe! This Hotel causes you ''Null and awe'' and is situated in Switzerland of all places! A country famous for it's high standard of living and noble comforts. This Hotel is named ''Null Stern'', is well known for its Zero comfort and their motto is ''the only star is you''! 


So what does it take to be a zero star hotel? here's some facts:

1) Firstly,  Null Stern means 'No star' in German. 
2) No private rooms! Everyone shares.
3) Shared bathrooms. If you've served in an army, I'm sure you can relate.
24) You may be caught in the middle of a Nuclear Holocaust. The cockroaches and Null Stern will survive however as it used to be a Nuclear Bunker that was subsequently converted into a Hotel.
5) Believe it or not, there is a guy called Pascal, complete with gloves and a bow tie calling himself ''room service''
6) Room rates range between 6-9 Euro and the Converted sewer-pipe is the is the most expensive apparently.
7) It's fast becoming the trendiest accommodation in Europe. Rumor has it that even Counts and Barons have stayed.
8) In times of war, it can hold 200. Now , it sleeps just 14 . 8 in 4 double beds and the rest in singles.
39) The concept is all beds in 2 large open rooms with no dividers between them. Good for getting to know new people. Not good for the snoring-prone light sleepers.
10) ''We wanted 2 extremes in the hotel, like Sugar and Fish'' the hotel designers said. Therefore , the coldness of the concrete shelter and the warmth of the antique beds and furniture is the dominant decoration here. Don't be surprised if your rustic bed is next to a fallout ventilator (that still work they say).
11) This innovative hotel has been awarded the ''best innovation of the year'' at the world hospitality awards in 2009.
12) The ''common areas'' of the Null Stern consist of he Null Stern consists of shared lavatories and showers and a loungefor it's 14 hotel guests
13) The Nuclear ventilators still work at odd hours, breaking the silence of the night, but no 4worries, you're given a pair of industrial grade ear plugs complimentary and at your bedside.
14) Windows? What windows! You can forget about an Alpine view. No windows here! Just a 1970's era outside looking CCTV system (How else would you know it's safe to go out after a nuclear strike)
15) Clearly not suggested for the claustrophobic as I'm sure any shrink will tell you.

Sugar and Fish? Hmm, Sounds more like Bambi meets Buffalo Bill.


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       Pascal at work
         

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